Friday 7/31: TWIN XL—"Problematic"
Today, we share our thoughts on a Problematic Bop by the L.A. group TWIN XL.
Welcome to Endless Scroll, the brainchild of Eli Enis (he/him) and Eric Bennett (they/them). Since Feb. 2019, we’ve been a weekly podcast about music, the internet, and where those two things intersect. Now we’re, also a M-F newsletter about songs. Our format is simple: a link to a song and a short take from each of us about what we think of it. Each day of the week has a corresponding genre: Monday is indie, Tuesday is punk, Wednesday is hip-hop, Thursday is pop, and Friday is misc.
Today, we share our thoughts on a Problematic Bop by the L.A. group TWIN XL.
TWIN XL—“Problematic”
Eli Enis:
About a month back I got a press release in my inbox with the subject line, “A ‘Problematic’ Bop from Trio TWIN XL". As any music journalist can attest, receiving loads of unwanted emails about musicians with nothing to their name but a gimmick and a fat PR fund are just part of the job, and after a few years of checking my inbox everyday for a living, I rarely flinch when I see something that’s obviously going to sound atrocious. But for this one, I couldn’t help myself. I simply had to click and see what this song that was using the word “problematic” as a point of pride had to offer. Of course it was atrocious, but just how bad are we talking? Pretty bad, Endless Scrollers.
After some brief research, I learned that TWIN XL is a group featuring Stephen and John Gomez—formerly of the Warped Tour-adjacent pop-rock band The Summer Set and presumable runner-ups in the L.A. County Sharpest Jawline Competition—and singer Cameron Walker—formerly of a bunch of shit I’ve never heard of and presumable gold medalist in the Most Punchable Face In L.A. Competition (no relation). This is what guys who had Glamour Kills sponsorships are doing in 2020 if they haven’t either become realtors or 35-year-old Instagram zaddies with murky income sources and children with names like Cherish.
Last year, TWIN XL put out a Spotify-core indie-pop record of songs with psychopathically cold titles like “Good”, “Thrill”, and “Friends”, which all have lyrics that make me reconsider the creative benefits of AI. They’ve released a handful of singles throughout 2020, and now they’re back with a song that’s literally called “Problematic”. This is SEO keyword pop for people who had their circulation cut off in 2010 by wearing too many I Love Boobies bracelets at once and now their brains don’t function properly. This band is straight-up encouraging scores of people to blast search engines with the name of their band followed by the word “problematic”; an extremely loaded word that the internet wields to de-legitimize and scold people they deem unworthy of existing in public space. But go off, kings!
However, the most beautiful part about this whole thing is that these guys genuinely don’t seem to understand what the contemporary definition of “problematic” even is. Furthermore, if you read into the actually quite problematic (!) lyrics of the song, then it becomes this bizarre guessing game as to whether or not this is all some tasteless gag. From my interpretation, the lyrics are about a 17-year-old runaway (presumably a girl) who’s putting on a tough face and playing hard to get with the narrator (presumably 31-year-old Walker). “Problematic” is obviously the hook, but I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around what this drivel even means.
Runnin' out of money
So you spend my time
Tell me that you want me
But you don’t stay the night
I’m hangin' on ya
But I don’t know why
Imma cut right through the static
Honey, you’re so problematic
It would seem that the narrator is upset that this teenage girl is using him for attention but not reciprocating with sex, and the narrator is questioning why he’s sticking around if he’s not getting anything out of it. But apparently she’s the one who’s problematic for this? The song itself is a lot less interesting than its dimwitted branding and lyrics. It’s actually kind of catchy in a, “Wait, is this what Maroon 5 sound like now?” sort of way. But instead of wasting your time on this shit, allow me to describe what every TWIN XL song sounds like.
Imagine if Brendan Urie for some reason started a line of bath bombs and those bath bombs played music when they disintegrated. TWIN XL make the type of music that would manifest out of those smoldering, pastel chalk balls. It’s kind of cool for a few moments and even kind of pleasant if you don’t think about how strange it is to be bathing in a puddle of colorful powder (or listening to a song with the lines, “Walk in the room just to watch 'em sweat / Take what you want, you get what you get”). Except when it’s finally over, it leaves an unwanted residue behind and it will probably give you some type of cancer.
Eric Bennett:
Besides being among the worst mattress sizes one can encounter, I did not understand what TWIN XL was before Eli sent me this song. A trip over to Genius tells me this band has toured with Fitz & The Tantrums. That entirely checks out as both acts fall squarely within the subgenre of music made solely to play too loudly through the speakers of fast fashion shops. It's meant to be lightly enjoyable, just energetic enough to keep you moving and not thinking. These bands come and go, and there will always be someone being recast into the Walk The Moon role.
That’s not inherently a bad thing, but it is baffling that they’ve taken that sound and tried to make it into… commentary? Kind of? In our time, where it’s become more common to call out problematic behavior, it’s only natural that it would leak into the pop-sphere. What, then, is the target of this missive’s problematic behavior? Spending money. It’s like if Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive” went full Buffalo Bill and made a skin suit out of Kanye’s “Gold Digger.” Let this serve as a lesson to future bands made up of what I can only imagine are with undercuts, tiny sunglasses, and oversized tees; just because something is a buzzword, does not mean it’s a good idea to use that as branding.